As I was running the other day (yes, that’s my way of slyly telling you I do still go to the gym… my gym life has been almost non-existent lately) I was pondering adulthood and that fact that I am 28 and so I am technically an adult now. Right?
I try to make myself zone out during runs, because I hate running but it works and I have to make my mind forget that my legs hurt and time has stopped moving and I still have 2 miles left to go.
Typically, I will imagine a couple of scenarios to keep my feet moving, like that I’m on the beach feelin’ smokin’ hot, that I’m in a 90’s rap video, or that I’m in a Nike commerical. These tend to to work for me.
Like, here’s me, just rollerblading down the boardwalk:
However, the other day, as I said, I fell deep into thought about being an adult. I’m feeling super adult-ey these days because I’M ENGAGED and also because we are trying to buy a house. Those are two super adult-ey things, right? Right.
Planning a wedding party and buying a house should be splendid good fun and should make me feel like a super awesome grown-up. But the simple and easy wedding party that I envisioned has already evolved into a bigger thing and I’m over here like… can a girl just elope these days? Or what?
For the record, I am calling it a wedding party because the fiancee and I do not want to have a big, giant, expensive, and long soiree in which everyone travels to watch us get married but really they are annoyed because we are out of town and I chose a bad weekend for them and they didn’t have the money to even get to the wedding… etc.
So, from the get go, even before the proposal, the fiancee and I had decided firmly against the typical wedding. We wanted a wedding party. I don’t see, and neither does the fiancee, the need to spend elaborate amounts of money on a wedding. That’s not just because we are semi-broke millennials. It’s because I’d rather use the money to do something else. (Like go to Greece, or buy a new car, or put more money down on a house.)
Basically, originally, we envisioned heading to the courthouse with our parents and maybe our siblings, getting our paper signed, and leaving. Woo-hoo! We’re married!
But we thought… hey, now. People exist out there that we would enjoy hugging and clanking a glass with all while saying, “Yay! We’re married!”
From that evolved the idea of a wedding party. I’m not calling it a reception because it won’t occur directly after a ceremony and it won’t be a dressy and fussy kind of thing. It won’t be an actual reception with cake cutting and speeches and the chicken dance…. no typical, standard wedding stuff.
I mean, piece of (wedding) cake, right?
We’ve already run into a couple roadblocks.
Problem one: our county does not do courthouse weddings. Crazy, right? Our wonderful dream of a lovely walk from the car to the courthouse was shattered upon this realization. I know what you’re thinking. You’re thinking, duh, just go somewhere that does do that. Well, we could. We really could. But I want our parents and siblings to be there. I don’t want to walk down the aisle and I don’t want to throw a bouquet but I do want to hug my parents and his parents and all our siblings and say, “We did it!” and have everyone say “Yes! You did!”
And so we can’t really just hop in the car and go and elope. I know people do that and I know it’s a valid option, it’s just not an option for us.
We are pretty go with the flow, though, so I researched and found an officiant and figured I could find somewhere for us to literally stand and say some words and then be married. So, the courthouse wedding will turn into a small ceremony and that’s not such a big deal.
Problem two: There are no venues in our vicinity that will allow around 100 people to gather for an affordable amount of money. What to do? What to do? I know we will figure it out. The sister and the mom have already been incredibly helpful, and we have set a date, and I’m researching constantly for somewhere for us to celebrate, but it’s becoming stressful and I don’t want it to be stressful. Everywhere I call immediately assumes that it’s a ceremony and then reception I’m looking for, and so they give me an outrageous quote.
Prime example — I called a garden near us and inquired about their availability for our date. The garden was free! And 100 people could fit in there! Perfect. However, I let it slip that this would be a reception type gathering to celebrate my marriage. The lady informed me that instead of paying $25/hour (as stated on their website) anything to do with a wedding would cost $350/hour and I was like wait…. so if I told you this was a family reunion it would cost me $25/hour. But now, since I’ve said the word reception, the price would be $350/hour. Yes, she told me, that is correct.
Anyway, I don’t have anything against anyone who wants to or has thrown a traditional wedding and then a reception. Honestly, I think you brides are pretty damn brave to walk down the aisle in front of all those people without lapsing into a full blown panic attack. I think people that plan and can afford big weddings and receptions must become borderline wine-aholics while planning. I admire you. But it’s just not for us.
The search continues for the venue, and also for our house, and also for any other idea I can focus on while running.
I’ll keep y’all posted.