Hello, October.

2015. This year incredible things have happened.

I got engaged, then married, we bought a house and a car, (can also read: we owe lots of banks lots of money, but anyway…), Alabama beat Georgia, we’ve visited the beach and the mountains… but I couldn’t help but feel a slight trepidation as the calendar changed over to October.

As I’ve mentioned before, the October Curse is a very real curse that affects my family and always has. Call me crazy if you want to. Pull out a calendar and find the dates that all the  awfulness in your life occurred. Is it all in the same month? Mine is. October.

To be fair, some Octobers just throw a few small curve balls my way. Other Octobers leave me crying, curled into a ball on my floor..

Generally, as September ends, I tell myself that with positive thinking I will make it through an October without a hint of trouble. I have friends in many states who text me on October 1 to tell me that they are thinking of me and that this year will be better. (You guys are fantastic.) But, so far, staying positive hasn’t helped and being optimistic hasn’t helped.

What causes this phenomenon, this October Curse? Sometimes I wonder if all my bad karma builds up and just explodes in October. For the most part I am an okay person, I think. I do my best to be an okay person – that must count for something, right? But something throughout the year must cause all the bad to conglomerate into a giant ball of October misery.

Two years ago my first very best friend passed away on this day in October. I think a lot about what could have been for him – kids, a happy marriage, buying a house… all the things you think about that seem so real in your life but that he never had the chance to accomplish. I think a lot about his family and what they face every day. I think a lot about the devastation of loss.

He always wanted me to write, and keep writing, and he would tell me that it didn’t matter what I put on the paper so long as I was writing.

Today I am thinking of him, and his family, and all my Octobers, and instead of banging on the keyboard until I’ve depleted all my October angst, I think I will instead share some (semi-positive) quotes instead. Because others say it better than me. Because I want to be happy when I remember him. And because my friend would have wanted me to see the light, even in the dark of October.

 

“The world breaks everyone and afterward many are strong at the broken places.” – Ernest Hemingway

 

“I’ll be a story in your head. That’s okay. We’re all stories in the end. Just make it a good one, eh? ‘Cause it was, you know. It was the best.” – The Doctor (11)

“And above all, watch with glittering eyes the whole world around you because the greatest secrets are always hidden in the most unlikely places. Those who don’t believe in magic will never find it.”  – Roald Dahl

 

“Do not pity the dead, Harry. Pity the living, and, above all those who live without love.” – Albus Dumbledore

 

MKJ

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